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Some choice quotes from Jerry Seinfeld... ON DATING: ...Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference between a date and a job interview is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it. "Well, Bill, the boss thinks you're the man for the job. Why don't you strip down and meet some of the people you'll be working with?" ...What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. "Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big." "That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later." ON SEX: ...Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. ...Men and women all in all, behave just like our basic sexual elements. If you watch single men on a weekend night they really act very much like sperm - all disorganized, bumping into their friends, swimming in the wrong direction. "I was first." "Let me through." "You're on my tail." "That's my spot." They're like the Three Billion Stooges. But the egg is very cool: "Well, who's it going to be? I can divide. I can wait a month. I'm not swimming anywhere."

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GameSpot GameFAQs MP3.com TV.com email: password: Signup Forgot Login Search: Artist Album Song Jerry Seinfeld Summary Jerry Seinfeld Artist Albums Songs Bio ... Similar Photos News Reviews Artist: Jerry Seinfeld Genre: Comedy Styles: Comedy Decades Active: The most successful and influential comedian of his generation, Jerry Seinfeld's brilliant observational riffs on the minutiae of everyday life formed the basis of the television classic Seinfeld, the quintessential sitcom of the 1990s and one of the most beloved series in the history of the medium. Born April 29,... More Latest Release Jerry Seinfeld on Comedy Released: Available Fans of Jerry Seinfeld's hit comedy series Seinfeld shouldn't hold their breath Jerry Seinfeld on Comedy is not the long-awaited sequel to 1998's I'm Telling You for the Last Time. It is, however, a helpful, educational tool for would-be stand-ups who yearn for a glimpse into the hot comedian's mind. Through a series of interviews with former comic/motivational speaker Larry Wilde that span... More Add Album to: Collection Wishlist Now playing Community Reviews Become a member of MP3.com and write a review.

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The Seinfeld Guide to Sex Are those the panties your mother laid out for you? - Jerry's lame attempt at talking dirty while seducing Elaine's secretary. It ruins the mood. (46) Backed Up - How Jerry is feeling because he hasn't had sex since his parents have come to stay with him. Buck Naked - Name George would call himself if he were a porn star. Changing Teams - Refers to homosexuals becoming straight and presumably vice-versa; despite Elaine's efforts, a gay guy doesn't do it. (96) Cleavage Peak - What George gets when the NBC president's teen daughter bends over. (54) Do Everything - An oral performance Elaine's saxophone-playing boyfriend refuses to give; when he finally does, he can no longer play the sax. (115) Fornicating Gourmet - What Jerry calls George after he is able to combine his two passions, food and sex. (152) Fugitive Sex - Mind-blowing sex George has after his convict girlfriend Celia breaks out of jail. (137) Home-Bed Advantage - Benefit one has when making love in one's own surroundings; what Jerry worries he will lose if Elaine moves into his building and drops by unannounced. (10) It - Elaine's term for a particular part of a man's body.

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Quotation Search by keyword or author: Home Weblog Quotes of the Day Motivational ... Read books online at our other site: The Literature Page Quotations by Author Jerry Seinfeld (1954 - ) [more author details] Showing quotations 1 to 3 of 3 total A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. Jerry Seinfeld It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld - More quotations on: [ Journalism There is no such thing as "fun for the whole family." Jerry Seinfeld 5 Quotations in other collections Search for Jerry Seinfeld at Amazon.com Showing quotations 1 to 3 of 3 total Previous Author: Erich Segal Next Author: John Selden Return to Author List Browse our complete list of 2713 authors by last name: A B C D ... Z (c) 1994-2005 QuotationsPage.com and Michael Moncur Please read the

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All The Information About Seinfeld That Exists On the Internet The Fab Four "Jerry" "Elaine" Jerry Seinfeld Julia Louis-Dreyfus "George" "Kramer" Jason Alexander Michael Richards Welcome to Vandelay Industries , purveyor of fine latex products. Here is a collection of information about Seinfeld and the Seinfeld Mailing List, "Vandelay Industries". Cardiff Movie Guide links to the Fab Four Jerry Seinfeld Julia Louis-Dreyfuss Michael Richards Jason Alexander S e i n f e l d Episodes A collection of derived scripts from Seinfeld episodes. Thanks to Scott Simpson (simpson@bnr.ca). Images A collection of scanned images of The Fab Four from both print media and TV. Thanks to . Subway Picture A picture of the Four in a NYC Subway car. More Pictures Eight photos made available by NBC on AOL. Thanks to Joe Decker. Frequently-Asked-Questions Every detail about everyone that has ever been associated with Seinfeld. Thanks to Scott Simpson. Episode-Guide A comprehensive listing of the Title and brief description of every Seinfeld that has been broadcast. Thanks to Bob Warznak (rspw@iscp.bellcore.com). WWW Version of the Episode Guide A version of the Episode guide readable by Mosaic and other browers.

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VideoETA Search By Month News ... Mailing List Sunday, Aug 21 Jerry Seinfeld Age: Born: April 29, 1954 Brooklyn, New York Did You Know? Jerry is married to designer Jessica Sklar and they have one daughter, Sascha. His sister is his manager. Jerry graduated from Queens College in New York and immediately joined the stand-up circuit. It was an appearance on an HBO Special with Rodney Dangerfield that pushed him into stardom. Jerry practices Zen meditation. Jerry attended State University of New York in Oswego before he transferred to Queens. Jerry's comedy series "Seinfeld" ran from 1989 to 1998. The series was nominated for six Emmy's, taking home one in 1993 for Outstanding Comedy Series. Jerry owns his own custom pair of "Air Seinfelds." Actor Credits Bee Movie Seinfeld: Season 5 Seinfeld: Season 6 Seinfeld: Season 4 ... The Adventures of Ociee Nash Coming Aug 23 Remind me when it's released! Put VideoETA release dates on your web site! Buy Posters at AllPosters.com Stay on top of all the new releases! Join the VideoETA mailing list. ... Consult our FAQ

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Powered by velleity. Create an account Headlines Latest News Archive ... Your Account Sunday, Aug 21, 2005 Headlines Latest Links News Topics ... Contact Us Login Nickname Password Lost your password? Create an account. Link Boxes Hosted by: UnmeteredServers.com Rate our Sorry Ass: Blog HOT or NOT? [9.8] Eatonweb Portal BlogRank Technorati ... GeoURL Child's Play Charity Animal Friendly Boycott RIAA Jerry Seinfield in Oz Viewing this file properly requires Quicktime 6 or greater. Please be patient while your media loads. On May 14th 1998, Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer were sentenced to one year in prison for violating the Massachusetts Good Samaritan Law. Then, due to a series of sarcastic quips Jerry made to prison guards, and a series finale regarded by most TV critics as "Satisfactory At Best", Jerry Seinfeld was transferred to a maximum security prison. That facility is known as... OZ. Link: 32290 Headline: 2907 Comments: 10 Related: Jerry Seinfeld Saturday Night Live Required plugin: Quicktime Feeds/Syndication The comments are property of their posters. All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

71. Seinfeld - Jerry Visits Jay, Mentions DVDs This past Wednesday night, jerry seinfeld gueststarred on The Tonight Show withJay Leno, and as you can imagine many seinfeld fans tuned in. http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/newsitem.cfm?NewsID=1498

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setAdGroup('67.18.104.18'); var cm_role = "live" var cm_host = "angelfire.lycos.com" var cm_taxid = "/memberembedded" Search: Lycos Angelfire Dating Search Share This Page Report Abuse Edit your Site ... Next The Jerry Seinfeld Dictionary of Terms and Phrases Alphadex A B C D ... Y Z A Airport Pickup - 1) a binding social contract to pick someone up at the airport 2) a commitment (to pick a someone up at the airport) that someone makes after foolishly betting a friend on something that they have no chance of attaining (ex. a short man betting that he can jump up and touch an awning) Anti-Dentite - someone who is prejudiced against people of the dental profession Assman - 1) a Proctologist 2) a person who displays his/her name on vanity license plates. Astronaut Pen - 1) a pen that is capable of writing from an upside down position 2) a pen that a crabby old man from a retirement community gives to someone, with the hopes of creating nasty gossip, before Degifting the pen B Bad Breaker-Upper - someone who ends a relationship by saying mean things that people don't generally mean - but means them Bald Paradise - a period of the 1930's when all men wore hats so women wouldn't notice that they were bald or had unattractive hair Ball Man Experiment - when an out of work, good for nothing, and unlikely candidate for a job as a ball man (boy), gets a job as a ball man (boy) at the US Open Tennis Championships (and injures a top-seeded lady tennis player in the process)

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document.write(''+''); The News Record Extras: Student Resources Scholarships Movies Travel ... GradZone document.write(currentissuedayname + ', ' + currentissuemonthname + ' ' + currentissueday + ', ' + currentissueyear); Summer orientation 2005 Login Register Staff List ... UC Home Page showNetworkBanner(1); var story_id = 691138; Home Opinion Column: Fix provided for Seinfeld lovers Wuthering Insights By Saleha Ghani Published: Monday, March 8, 2004 Seinfeld fans only had to wait through three failed pilots starring their favorite Seinfeld characters and a few extra years before a TV show with a similar complexion made it on the air. Larry David, co-creator, writer and producer of Seinfeld, has his own show. He's the creator, writer, producer and the star of HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm. The show has a twist of the reality-show appeal and Seinfeld-like humor; similar to Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm's storylines come full-circle, always surprising the audience. On the show, David plays himself. Much like Seinfeld, in fact more so, he has kept the show close to his real life. His wife on Curb Your Enthusiasm, Cheryl, is an environmentalist, just like his wife in real life. He brings in actor friends to play themselves, but usually ends up on their bad side by the end of the show. Curb Your Enthusiasm made its debut on HBO in 2000, just two years after the last Seinfeld episode aired. That gave Seinfeld fans some time to get over the loss of Seinfeld, watch re-runs to catch any missed episodes and develop an appetite for another show with similar style of nonchalant humor.

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OAS_AD('Top'); document.write(secTimeStamp); SEARCH writeFeature(0); writeFeature(1); writeFeature(2); RESPOND TO EDITOR E-MAIL STORY PRINTER FRIENDLY FOXFAN CENTRAL Television's Best and Worst Couples Thursday, January 10, 2002 By Robin Wallace Whether we love them, hate them or love to hate them, television couples have provided us with some of our most memorable and beloved characters. Here's FOXNews.com's list of the best and worst couples from the small screen. Best: The Dick Van Dyke Show , Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke: The show broke television ground as the first to show a real sexual spark between an on-air husband and wife. The Petrie's are universally considered the industry standard by which all other TV couples are measured. Mad About You , Helen Hunt and Paul Reiser: It was impossible to believe these two yuppies weren't a real-life New York duo. Home Improvement, Tim Allen and Patricia Richardson . A TV reviewer once called the never-seen bedroom scenes of the Taylor's the best sex never seen on television, proof that a soccer mom could still be sexy. The Cosby Show , Bill Cosby and Phylicia Rashad : Their oldest daughter was a stretch, but not the mad love between the good doctor and his lawyer wife.

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View Cart My Account Download Order Check e-file Status Home ... Tax Library Index Search FAQs Pop Culture Tax Tips - Claiming Dependents Can Jerry Seinfeld claim Kramer as a dependent? On the television program "Seinfeld," Jerry's neighbor Cosmo Kramer is a man described as "having no visible means of support". He spends most of his time in Jerry's apartment and gets most of his meals by raiding Jerry's refrigerator and cupboards. The obvious question that has eluded viewers for years is: Can Jerry claim Kramer as a dependent on his income tax return? To answer that question we will have to examine the five tests for claiming dependents. All five must be met in order to claim a person as a dependent. The first test is that the person must be either a direct relative OR live with you for the entire year as a member of your household. Since Kramer is not Jerry's son, brother, father, or in-law, he would not qualify as a relative. He probably would also not qualify as a full-time member of Jerry's household since Kramer does seem to maintain an apartment of his own, although with as much time as he spends in Jerry's apartment he could conceivably give up the apartment. The second test is that Kramer must be citizen of the US or a resident of Canada or Mexico. Presumably Kramer is a US citizen, so, that test will not be a problem for Jerry to claim him as a dependent.

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