41. Nuno Crispim's Quotations Contains Nuno's own quotes and those of Woody Allen, Douglas Adams, david letterman and others. Requests submissions. http://www.geocities.com/colosseum/3505/quotations.htm

Quotations Frames: On Off Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss. Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lover's Swiss, the police German and it's all organised by the Italians. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. Franklin P. Jones Women's creed: Men are like linoleum. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for 20 years. Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions. Woody Allen Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? (1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. (2) Advising the President. (3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. David Letterman Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

42. Anecdote - David Letterman - David Letterman: Gourmet Cooking Anecdotes, Famous People. Funny Stories. Anecdotes from Gates to Yeats. http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=21436

43. David Letterman's Day Off CNN http://cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/10/tv.letterman.ap/index.html

44. Anecdote - David Letterman - David Letterman: Oscar Host Anecdotes, Famous People. Funny Stories. Anecdotes from Gates to Yeats. http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=20263

45. David Letterman Show Complete transcript of George Michael's appearance on letterman, with RealAudio recording of the interview. http://george.michael.szm.sk/Esection/E1998letterm.html

Interview with George Michael November 9th, 1998 George Appears on Letterman by Ann Rinehart, in Planet George The Late Show, the American talk show hosted by David Letterman on CBS, featured George Michael live on November 9, 1998 , on the eve of his "Ladies and Gentlemen" greatest hits release. The Late Show has a comedy format and broadcasts live before a studio audience from the Ed Sullivan Theater located in New York. David Letterman is known for his disrespectful, sarcastic style of humor, which he uses to make fun of anyone he can, even (if not especially) politicians including President Clinton. His show also displays variety skits such as "Stupid Pet Tricks" and "Stop Calling Me Chief." The Late Show airs weeknights at 11:30 p.m. EST. The show began with a long, monotonous monologue predominately about Meryl Streep's cancellation that night, with only one brief announcement about GM being a guest. George was the first guest, and after a simple introduction, out walked GM in a stylish black suit looking energized for an exciting conversation. The first question Letterman asked was if George had ever appeared on the show before, and GM quickly replied, "Excuse me, shouldn't you know? This is your show! Shouldn't you know if I've been a guest on your show before?" After that exchange of words the battle of wit began. Letterman pumped George for details about his arrest this past spring, which he thought was last year, but being asked by the show's producers not to use certain terms, GM was at a loss for words.

46. David Letterman Soundboard www.ebaumsworld.com. Home eNews eLinks Jokes Pics Work Flash Soundboards Prank Calls Audio Video Sports Games Illusions Magic http://www.ebaumsworld.com/letterman.html

www.ebaumsworld.com Home eNews eLinks Jokes ... Chat Check out a new part of eBaum's World - Click Here Listen to prank calls made using soundboards! document.write(""); More soundboards - here

47. The Anton Fig Website :: Welcome!! Late Show with david letterman drummer. Offers news, biography, discography, and a concert schedule. http://www.AntonFig.com/

Anton's Welcome Message! Buy Figments Welcome To My Website! I originally established this website to let people know about my new CD, Figments , a project I have been working on for the past 3+ years. I am very proud of it and hope you will take the time to check it out. But, as I've gone along, I've found that this web thing is pretty cool and that I can stay in touch with a lot more people. You'll find all sorts of stuff on this site, and we'll be adding more very frequently. There's a FAQ, Photo Gallery, info for drummers, a message board which I'll be checking in on as often as possible... This will be an ongoing journey and I hope you will be a part of it with me. Join Anton's mailing list to receive concert updates and the latest news!

48. NBCSandiego.com - Entertainment - Did You Hear The One About The California Reca Television comics like Quinn, Jon Stewart, Jay Leno, Craig Kilborn and david letterman respond to the recall of Governor Gray Davis and the campaigns of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gary Coleman and Larry Flynt. http://www.nbcsandiego.com/entertainment/2415197/detail.html

Do you have a question or comment for NBC7/39? Contact us! Breaking News Alerts 12 p.m. View More TEXT And HTML E-News Search Classifieds Getaways Torino 2006 Classroom ... Entertainment Email This Story Print This Story Did You Hear The One About The California Recall? Election Gives TV Comics Plenty Of Material POSTED: 7:56 a.m. PDT August 19, 2003 UPDATED: 12:20 p.m. PDT August 19, 2003 SAN DIEGO When it comes to the California recall election, who needs a punch line? With the Terminator, actor Gary Coleman, comedian Gallagher and pornographer Larry Flynt as opponents, the governor's race is a midsummer night's dream for late-night TV comics. ELECTION RESOURCES Key Recall Dates Candidate Status Report Recognizable Candidates IMAGES: California Governor Recall Gallery Of Celebrity Politicians VOTE: What Do You Think Of The Recall Process? Discuss The Davis Recall Complete Recall Coverage Aside from the process itself, add in jokes about bodybuilders (Arnold Schwarzenegger), short people (Coleman) and unintelligible accents (Schwarzenegger and Arianna Huffington) and you've got a mother lode of humor. While the recall has been grist for comics, it is no laughing matter for Davis, who stands to be turned out of office halfway through his second term. The governor plans to "set the record straight" Tuesday with a no-nonsense address at UCLA. It will be his first major address on the Oct. 7 election.

49. Top Ten Firecrackers Or Richard Simmons' Nicknames Top ten list copyrighted 1997 by Worldwide Pants (david letterman). http://www.eldar.org/~ben/funny/html/305.html

Top Ten Firecrackers or Richard Simmons' Nicknames 10. Screaming Mimi 9. Flaming Bozo 8. Sweatin' Sissy 7. Puffy Lady 6. Star Spangled Smoker 5. Sky Prancer 4. Hyperactive Granny 3. Trouser Blaster 2. Yankee Doodle Nancy 1. The Fruitron Bomb This joke was found on Webslingerz's top 10 go back to the search go back to the funny page go back to the title list go back to the main page spunge@spunge.org Added: 7-3-97 http://anduin.eldar.org/~ben/funny/html/305.html

50. All Star David Letterman Fun facts, pictures, wallpaper, horoscope and much more about david letterman. http://www.allstarz.org/davidletterman/

All Star David Letterman News Profile Fun Facts Pictures ... Links fiSearchFormMaxSetId='AX005566'; Listed at Starbuzz.com Proud member of AllStarz.org

51. Bold Type: Bill Zehme Interview with the author of the Kaufman biography Lost in the Funhouse. Also includes transcripts of Kaufman's appearances on Late Night with david letterman and an excerpt from the book. http://www.randomhouse.com/boldtype/1299/zehme/

Bill Zehme: Lost in the Funhouse In the early nineties Bill Zehme developed an obsession with Andy Kaufman. His vigorous interest turned out to be prescient as the end of this century has produced a renewed curiosity in the life and work of the late comic genius who confounded fans and critics alike with his singular brand of entertainment. Now, after six years of exhaustive research, hundreds of interviews with family members, friends and key players in Andy's endless charades, Zehme has produced the first full-fledged biography of Kaufman and offers readers a portal into his unique mind and spirit. The title Lost in the Funhouse is a reference to Andy's college-era performances of Uncle Andy's Funhouse, a show he'd been developing since his early childhood that matured into an ABC special the network was most reluctant to air, and an apt summation of Andy's life. It is also an appropriate description of the author's experience in trying to ascertain the truth about this elusive artist. In this issue of Bold Type you will find an interview with Bill Zehme in which he talks about the truth and other strange incidents in the universe of Andy Kaufman and transcripts of two of Kaufman's notorious appearances on The David Letterman Show.

52. David Letterman, Girlfriend Have Baby Boy The lastest news about david letterman and the Late Show. http://www.allstarz.org/davidletterman/newsbaby01.htm

Letterman, Girlfriend Have Baby Boy Novemeber 4, 2003 NEW YORK (AP) - David Letterman is a daddy. Letterman's girlfriend, Regina Lasko, delivered a baby boy late Monday night. He weighed in at 9 pounds, 11 inches and is 21 inches long, Letterman announced on his show Tuesday night. "I could never imagine ever being a part of something that turned out this beautiful," Letterman said, according to a transcript from "Late Show," which is taped earlier in the day. Letterman, 56, said the baby - his first child - is named after his father, Harry Joseph Letterman, who died at 57. "So God bless dad and God bless Harry," Letterman said. The talk show host joked: "I don't know, maybe I shouldn't have done this. First thing I took him home and dangled him over the balcony," a reference to pop star Michael Jackson briefly dangling one of his children over a balcony. Bandleader Paul Shaffer had filled in for Letterman as host of the "Late Show" Monday night when Lasko went into labor. Tom Keaney, spokesman for Letterman's production company, Worldwide Pants, said he didn't know where the baby was born. The show Tuesday night included a Top Ten list of reason's why Letterman was excited to be a father. The No. 1 reason: There is now tangible evidence that I have had sex.

53. Leno, Jay Biography, credits, and recommended reading. Includes a discussion of the ratings wars between the Tonight Show and david letterman's Late Show. http://www.museum.tv/archives/etv/L/htmlL/lenojay/lenojay.htm

LENO, JAY U.S. Comedian With his sanitized comedy appealing to middle class sensibility and ordinary, nice-guy demeanor, Jay Leno rose from comedy hall fame to win the coveted host seat of NBC's Tonight Show in 1992. In so doing, Leno followed in the footsteps of great past hosts, Johnny Carson, Jack Paar and Steve Allen. As a working-class undergraduate Leno began his stand-up career in Boston and New York comedy clubs and strip bars. During the 1970s, he became a popular warm-up act for such divergent performers as crooner Johnny Mathis and country singer John Denver, and wrote scripts for the sitcom Good Times , starring Jimmy Walker. He obtained similar work for David Letterman, who, after he began hosting Late Night with David Letterman , granted Leno over forty appearances on the program. Leno became a popular guest on the Merv Griffin, Mike Douglas and Tonight Shows and by 1986 was named one of several guest hosts for the Tonight Show.

54. Laugh.Com Comic Page -- David Letterman Laugh.com has free audio and video bits from your favorite comedians. Free Electronic Greeting cards from George Carlin, free Flash cartoons, funny news and http://www.laugh.com/main_pages/comicpage.asp?cid=129

55. CBS | Late Show Top Ten Archive: September 24, 1999 Top ten list from david letterman. http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/archive/ls_topten_archive1999/ls_t

pageType = 'Top Ten Archive'; all_loaded=true; genAd('728x90') document.write( findersHTML('show') ); Tonight's Guests Ellen DeGeneres, Hot Hot Heat Weeknights: 11:30pm ET/PT TVPG The Smithsonian has asked us to do our part to organize and preserve our nation's precious comedy heritage. So we're offering an annual archive of all Late Show Top Ten Lists. September 24, 1999 Top Ten Ways The Y2K Bug Will Affect Your Dog He'll spend the entire afternoon trying to fetch a washer/dryer Will turn around three million times before lying down to nap At stroke of midnight, will switch form Cycle 5 back to Cycle 2 Three words: exploding chuck wagons Due to Internet disruptions, no downloading obscene photos of Lassie Instead of tick bath, will require weekly Norton Anti-Virus scan Hard to be "man's best friend" when the only 3 men left are huddled in a fallout shelter This will happen: a speaking dog saying "Funkalicious" Water shortage means both you and he will be drinking from the toilet In dog years, the Y2K bug occurred in 286AD Back To September 1999 Archive Choose a Month Day and Year Month January February March April May June July August September October November December Days Year Search by Top Ten Topic Browse by Month Jan.

56. CBS | The Late Show With David Letterman : Comedy Clips Hilarious movie in Real Player format of Dave spending the day with Joe in San Francisco. http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/dave_tv/ls_dtv_comedy_clips2.shtml#

genAd('728x90') document.write( findersHTML('show') ); Tonight's Guests Ellen DeGeneres, Hot Hot Heat Weeknights: 11:30pm ET/PT TVPG We've loaded up these old comedy highlights with so many chemical preservatives that they'll stay fresh forever. Some of them might even still be funny. By the way, you'll need some of this... Big Show Highlight Dave's Monologue The Tony Mendez Show Page 1 ... "Top Ten Signs You're Spending Too Much Time Online" Back to Top Page 1 Big Show Highlight Dave's Monologue The Tony Mendez Show ... Pants News COMEDY CLIPS "Hi-Jinks: Pranks For Parents" COMEDY CLIPS Biff Henderson's "Wanna Hang Out?" COMEDY CLIPS Dave Talks To NYU Film Students COMEDY CLIPS Johnny, The Oldest CBS Page 2 COMEDY CLIPS "Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear in a Fast-Food Restaurant"

57. David Letterman - A Star Library Biography david letterman a Star Library biography. david letterman. Indianapolis-born comedian, talk show host. Updated 03-12-2002 http://www2.indystar.com/library/factfiles/people/l/letterman_david/letterman.ht

Apartments Autos Homes Items ... Personals LIBRARY FACTFILES FactFiles home Biographies Business Environment ... Sports MORE LIBRARY Library Home Flashback Special Reports CHANNELS News Opinion Business Sports ... Community EXTRAS Commuting Coupons Horoscopes Lotteries ... Star Links SERVICES Library FactFiles Message boards What's available ADVERTISERS David Letterman Indianapolis-born comedian, talk show host Updated: 03-12-2002 (1997 CBS photo) David Letterman As a radio/TV major at Ball State University, Letterman runs into trouble with his humor on the campus radio station. University officials are outraged when he introduces the classical number Clair de Lune with, "You remember the de Lune sisters. There was Clair, and there was Mabel." He graduates from Ball State and takes a full-time job at what later became WTHR (Channel 13) in Indianapolis. At different times he serves as host of a Saturday morning children's show and a late-night movie show, anchors the news and does the weather. Letterman is host of a radio talk show at WNTS-AM (1590), an early experiment in news/talk.

58. "Martha Stewart's Worst Tips For Living" david letterman's Top 10 List from September 25, 1995 http://www.utvs.com/knagl/ttl/living.html

From New York: We're loopy from the bus fumes ... it's the TOP TEN LIST for Monday, September 25, 1995. And now, a man who recycles everything in fact, we used this introduction last April ... David Letterman! "Martha Stewart's Worst Tips For Living" As presented on the 9/25/95 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN If you notice a guest using the "wrong" fork, pick up the "right" fork and jam it into his head Heavily sedated pets make unusual centerpieces Add glitter to every damn thing you own Kick off your O.J. dinner party by having Johnnie Cochran lie about what's in the chili Old gym shorts stuffed with cat hair make great throw pillows To liven up a "black tie only" affair, wear only a black tie You want livin'? Take a Big Mac, coat with butter, then refry the bastard Household putty is an excellent way to fill embarrassing gap between teeth To enliven any salad try eating it while hanging by your hair [Earlier in the show, Dave featured a troupe of acrobats who hung suspended by their hair] [Music: "Hair" by the Cowsills]

59. Buy David Letterman Tickets - Tickets To David Letterman - David Letterman Sched Buy david letterman tickets at Coast To Coast Tickets, your concert tour ticket broker. We offer a huge selection of tickets to all concerts! http://www.coasttocoasttickets.com/buy/davidletterman_tickets.htm

Tickets - David Letterman Buy David Letterman Tickets Tickets Home Concert Tours Ticket Brokers ... Las Vegas TICKET CATEGORIES Professional Sports Tickets MLB Baseball Tickets NHL Hockey Tickets NBA Basketball Tickets ... Login David Letterman Tickets Event Location Date Sorry no tickets were found in our database. Please call us as 1-866-800-CTCT (2828) or try back later as our inventory changes daily. Coast To Coast Tickets is a privately owned ticket agency. As a ticket broker for all sports and entertainment events, we buy and sell tickets on the secondary market at above face value. Prices quoted on this site are often substantially higher than the price printed on the ticket as they reflect our cost of obtaining premium seating. Tickets we stock include MLB Baseball NFL Football NHL Hockey NBA Basketball ... NCAA Football and College Basketball games, PGA Golf tournaments NASCAR Auto Racing music concerts comedy ... family shows , and theater productions including Las Vegas shows CoastToCoastTickets.com contains event and concert tour dates, as well as team and game schedules for every sport. If you are unable to find the information you need, we are happy to answer your questions about tours, concerts, performers, venues, seating charts and maps, and teams. We are not affiliated with any box office, venue, sponsor, team, performer, Ticketmaster.com, Tickets.com, or other organization. Any trademarked terms that appear on this page are used for descriptive purposes only. Tickets Home Help Center Site Map Event Resources

60. Gregg "Letterhead" Chelew America's Favorite David Letterman Lookalike david letterman looka-like available for corporate and private events. Biography, show profile, booking information nd resume included. http://www.gregletterhead.com/

T I M E A w a r d W I N N I N G ! ! Gregg "Letterhead" has performed for about half the Fortune 500 companies over the past 12 years. Known for his professionalism and smooth running shows. Many companies ask Gregg to return year after year. His high energy approach as David Letterman has placed him among The Top 10 impersonators in the United States. Either as a Master of Ceremonies, or producing a personalized Top 10 in a studio, Gregg's uncanny resemblance and mannerisms are unparalleled. Gregg Letterhead has performed over 1000 shows!!! Amoung the most memorable: Consumer Electronics Show, Las Vegas 2001 Award for Best Presenter and Presentation. Tivo, Sony, Phillips Booth Opening act for Tony Bennett, Dana Carvey, Sinbad, Joe Montana, Captain and Tenile, Three Dog Night, Ronnie Lott, and others. Johnny Carson's Return, (national commercial) Burger King, (Radio Ad) Home Resume Top ten Lists My Show Information ... Add us 2 your Favorites I am not the David Letterman, nor do I claim to be (but who can tell) Gregg Letterhead Chelew : : : Powerd by NetWorksOne

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