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22. George Carlin Show - AOL Video Watch full episodes of The george carlin Show for free on In2TV. http://video.aol.com/video-category/george-carlin-show/5000_5000_2120_1717_1572

document.domain="aol.com"; var sitedomain="channel.aol.com";var siteState="http%3a%2f%2fvideo%2eaol%2ecom%2fvideo%2dcategory%2fgeorge%2dcarlin%2dshow%2f103171"; var pagehostUrl="http://video.aol.com";var vid_playerURL="http://us.video.aol.com";var MTeens=1; AOL myAOL Mail Make AOL Your Home Page ... Images Video News Local BETA More Search Hot Searches: 'Star Wars' Heath Ledger 'Kung Fu Panda' Oprah Winfrey ... See More query_value=0;vid_location="http://video.aol.com";vid_pageUrl=""+window.location;vid_pmms=0; My Video My Library My Account My Downloads ... WNBA More on AOL Video Portable Devices Developer Center Support AOL Video Help Main Video Search Help Premium Video Help George Carlin Show For More In2TV Comedy: Click Here Show: 12 per page 24 per page feedBookMark('George Carlin Show on AOL Video','http://video.aol.com/video-rss/asset/103171') List Grid Detail View: Title Type Time Date Price Buy Play The George Carlin Show: Season 1, Episode 1 The George Carlin Show: Season 1, Episode 1 The George Carlin...: Sea. 1, Ep. 1 (more) ... Free Add to Playlist Added: Runtime: Release Year: Title: When Unexpected Things Happen To George George (GEORGE CARLIN) wins a dog when he makes a bet with a rich surgeon, Dr. Neal Beck (CHRISTOPHER RICH).

23. The Lint Trap: George Carlin's New Rules For 2007 george carlin s New Rules for 2007. Just thought you all show know. New Rule. Stop giving me that popup ad for classmates.com ! There s a reason you don t http://www.yourmomsbasement.com/LintTrap/archives/2006/11/george_carlins.html

Main November 29, 2006 George Carlin's New Rules for 2007 Just thought you all show know. New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com ! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days . . mowing my lawn. New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards. New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men. New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done. New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

24. Positive Atheism's Big List Of George Carlin Quotations george carlin, from the language warning sequence introducing the his website, www.geogrecarlin.com, that existed in late 2001 and early 2002 http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/quotes/carlin.htm

Positive Atheism's Big List of George Carlin Quotations No-Frames Quotes Index Load This File With Frames Index Home to Positive Atheism George Carlin (b. 1937) Satirical comic; free-speech activist I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin attributed: source unknown I credit that eight years of grammar school with nourishing me in a direction where I could trust myself and trust my instincts. They gave me the tools to reject my faith. They taught me to question and think for myself and to believe in my instincts to such an extent that I just said, "This is a wonderful fairy tale they have going here, but it's not for me." George Carlin , in the New York Times, August 20, 1995 If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. George Carlin attributed: source unknown Religion If this [word] offends you, welcome to the world of sane and realistic critical thought. More harm has been done to the collective human psyche by religion than by all the fucking and cocksucking since the dawn of time. By the way, many religious people (including the ordained) fuck and suck each other's cocks all the time. George Carlin , from the language warning sequence introducing the his website, www.geogrecarlin.com

25. George Carlin Quotes 55 quotes and quotations by george carlin. george carlin If God had intended us not to masturbate he would ve made our arms shorter. george carlin http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/g/george_carlin.html

Add the "Quote of the Day" to Your Site or Blog - it's EASY! Home Quote Topics Quote Keywords ... Author Nationalities Authors: A B C D ... Z Web brainyquote.com George Carlin Quotes Type: Comedian Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes Date of Birth: May 12 Nationality: American Find on Amazon: George Carlin Related Authors: Steven Wright Josh Billings Groucho Marx W. C. Fields ... Rodney Dangerfield Always do whatever's next. George Carlin At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. George Carlin Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established. George Carlin Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

26. George Carlin Tickets - TicketsNow Has Deals On George Carlin Tickets To Match E Get deals on george carlin tickets and other Theater tickets from TicketsNow. Premium george carlin ticket deals available to match every budget. http://www.ticketsnow.com/Theater_Tickets/George_Carlin_Tickets.html

George Carlin Tickets for all George Carlin Shows Order Status Wish List FAQ Help ... Contact Us Please select an event Super Bowl NFL Pro Bowl All Sports tickets NBA ... Chicago Cubs Please select an event Houston Rodeo Foo Fighters Linkin Park Gavin DeGraw ... Bruce Springsteen Please select an event Wicked Jersey Boys The Lion King Mary Poppins ... Read Reviews George Carlin George Carlin has always pushed the envelope with his observant, angry, and sarcastic stand-up comedy routines about everyday events. Catch George Carlin's comedic act live! Buy your George Carlin tickets now! City/State Venue Date(s) Atlantic City, NJ Borgata Casino Music Box Boston, MA Wang Theatre ... Ruth Finley Person Theater-Wells Fargo Center Print This Page Email This Page Newsletter Signup Add to Favorites Related Theater Categories Awards and TV Shows Ballet and Dance Shows Broadway Shows Cirque Shows ... Other Theatre Tickets Welcome to TicketsNow. Log in or Join Your Location Find Tickets Hot Events Super Bowl Tickets Super Bowl Packages Hotels ... more You entered an invalid email address . Please click here to correct Email address is a required field. Please

27. George Carlin Yes, george carlin won his fourth Grammy at the 2002 show for the audio recording of Napalm and Silly Putty in Category 72 Best Spoken Comedy Album, http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Vines/1521/georgecarlin.html

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately." First, I'd like to apologize for not updating this site more often. I know thousands and thousands of you visit my page in search of Carlin news, tour dates, and sound bites. For letting it all go for months at a time, I apologize. Carlin wins his fourth Grammy!! Yes, George Carlin won his fourth Grammy at the 2002 show for the audio recording of Napalm and Silly Putty in Category 72: Best Spoken Comedy Album, for spoken word comedy recordings Tour Dates (updated 3/6/01) Yeah, I suck. Sorry about the laziness here. George Carlin audio files Napalm and Silly Putty Read excerpts from the book here Brain Droppings TEXT Brain Droppings ... Joe Bless You! Taken from Carlin's HBO special You Are All Diseased Miscellaneous George Carlin interviews The official George Carlin website Carlin's newest endeavor: Laugh.com HEY!! If you like this brand of humor ( obviously you do, or you wouldn't be here! ), why not check out a wildly funny page created by Eric Collins He offers many twisted excerpts from his recently published book

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Event Tickets Comedy Tour Tickets George Carlin Tickets George Carlin's most popular albums 'Weird Behavior' and 'Class Clown' basically sum up the childhood of this comedian. School was too confining and Carlin couldn't exactly find his niche in the mainstream. He dropped out of school when he was 17 and joined the Air Force as a radar mechanic. Carlin was given a shift as a deejay at a local radio station in Shreveport, Louisiana and a year later teamed up with the station's newsman Jack Burns. They toured the local nightclub circuit with a comedy act but once they realized things weren't working out they went their separate ways. George Carlin Schedule To buy George Carlin tickets, select the show from the George Carlin schedule below. Feb Mar Apr May ... Denver, CO February 12, 2008 Tuesday 8:00 pm Find George Carlin The Orleans Showroom Las Vegas, NV February 14, 2008 Thursday 8:00 pm Find George Carlin The Orleans Showroom Las Vegas, NV February 15, 2008 Friday 8:00 pm Find George Carlin The Orleans Showroom Las Vegas, NV February 16, 2008 Saturday 8:00 pm Find George Carlin The Orleans Showroom Las Vegas, NV

29. George Carlin, MP3 Music Download At EMusic george carlin MP3s at eMusic. Download george carlin albums, tracks and songs for free with eMusic s trial subscription. http://www.emusic.com/artist/George-Carlin-MP3-Download/10560332.html

Help Sign Up BROWSE NEW ON EMUSIC ... PROFILE eMusic Shortcuts Home Alternative/Punk Blues Classical Country/Folk Electronic International Jazz New Age Rock/Pop Soundtracks/Other Spiritual Audiobooks Recent Editorial Dozens Your Profile Saved for Later Account Search Music Artist Album Track Label Search Classical Music Classical Composer Classical Album Classical Performer Classical Conductor Classical Ensemble Search Audiobooks Books Authors Narrators Home George Carlin Born: May. 12, 1937 Years Active: Average: (76 votes) Famed for his landmark "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" routine, George Carlin filled the void created by the death of Lenny Bruce, honing a provocative, scathing comic style that bravely explored the limits of free speech and good taste. George Dennis Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York.... On the Road . However, as a new breed of way-out comedians like Steve Martin, Robin Williams, and Andy Kaufman began to emerge, Carlin's brand of incisive sociopolitical commentary began to fall from favor; plagued by substance abuse problems, he did not record again until 1981's A Place for My Stuff , and gained a reputation for unpredictable, often abusive on-stage behavior. By the middle of the decade, he resurfaced clean and sober for 1985's

30. George Carlin : Comedian Profile george carlin Comedian Profile in the Stand up comedians A to Z with the world s funniest standup comedians and comedy performers. http://www.comedy-zone.net/standup/comedian/c/carlin-george.htm

Home Bookmark Tell a friend JOKES ... C : George Carlin George Carlin Stand Up Comedian Profiles at The Comedy Zone A B C D ... XYZ FACT FILE Name: George Carlin Birth: Date: May 12, 1937 Place: New York, USA. Death: Date: N/A Place: N/A Occupation: Comedian Biographical Notes: Counterculture comedian George Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. A disciple of Lenny Bruce , Carlin was arrested for violating obscenity laws in 1972 after a radio broadcast of an uncensored version of his routine "Seven Dirty Words You Can't Say on Radio or Television." The broadcast became the center of a debate over censorship, and FCC legislation over profanity. A self-professed atheist and avid cocaine user, Carlin's adversaries deemed him anti-religious and disrespectful of society. Raised in a Roman Catholic home, and having been educated in parochial school, Carlin is said to have developed his negative attitude towards religion during his tenure as an altar boy. A high school dropout, Carlin enlisted in the army, got his high school equivalency, and moonlighted as a disc jockey at a Louisiana radio station, where he was stationed. In 1959, Carlin teamed up with Texas newscaster, Jack Burns, collaborating on a morning radio show in Fort Worth before relocating to Hollywood, where they attracted Bruce's attention.

31. George Carlin Lyrics - The Seven Words You Can Never Say On Tv george carlin lyrics The Seven Words You Can Never Say On Tv. http://www.lyricsbox.com/george-carlin-lyrics-the-seven-words-you-can-never-say-

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32. George Carlin On Religion Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You! (Copyright 1999 by george carlin. Printed without permission.) http//www.objectivethought.com/atheism/carlin.html http://www.rense.com/general69/obj.htm

George Carlin On Religion ObjectiveThought.com When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit! But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.

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GameSpot GameFAQs MP3.com TV.com ... MovieTome George Carlin Photos - George Carlin News - George Carlin Information Email: Password: Login Signup Forgot Login Help ... Search ON TechRepublic 10 illegal job interview questions Home All Shows Listings ... Top Shows George Carlin Summary Biography Credits News Videos Pictures Blog Reviews Forum Most Recent Role: Himself on Imus In The Morning Birthplace: Morningside Heights (Upper Manhattan), New York Birthday: Birth Name: George Dennis Carlin Tag It Write a Review + Add to Favorites Discuss ... Edit Bio Tagging Enter your tags below. Use commas to separate tags. Examples: ended, kids, lame Add Tag Add to Favorites Most Recent Appearance Imus In The Morning December 14, 2007 Friday 14 December 2007 on MSNBC Episode Summary See All Appearances News Headlines external: Lorne Michaels reveals 'Saturday Night Live's' season 1 secrets! external: The Tonight Show with Jay Leno More: Submit a Link User-Submitted News external: The Quotations Page Jun 1, 2007

34. Quoteland :: Quotations By Author Books by and about george carlin Engrave a Quote Click this icon to engrave the quote on mugs, Click here for more information about george carlin http://www.quoteland.com/author.asp?AUTHOR_ID=1271

35. Arthur Chaparyan & His Take On The Universe: George Carlin's "The Planet Is Fine george carlin s The Planet Is Fine . I heard this on XM Comedy Channel 150 on the way to work, and I absolutely loved it! Let s see what you guys think of http://www.chaparyan.com/2005/04/george-carlins-planet-is-fine.php

@import url("http://www.blogger.com/css/blog_controls.css"); @import url("http://www.blogger.com/dyn-css/authorization.css?blogID=5991877"); var BL_backlinkURL = "http://www.blogger.com/dyn-js/backlink_count.js";var BL_blogId = "5991877"; the universe is overrated Thursday, April 21, 2005 George Carlin's "The Planet Is Fine" I heard this on XM Comedy Channel 150 on the way to work, and I absolutely loved it! Let's see what you guys think of it: We're so self-important. So self-important. Everybody's going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet? I'm getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. They don't care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don't. Not in the abstract they don't. You know what they're interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me.

36. George Carlin's The Paradox Of Our Time-Fiction! A message said to have come from george carlin on the occasion of his wife s death and his commentary on the nation after the Attack on America on September http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/c/carlin.htm

a BECOME A TruthOrFiction.com SUBSCRIBER! Be among the first to know about new eRumors, viruses, Internet hoaxes...and more. CLICK HERE for details The Paradox of Our TimeGeorge Carlin's Tribute to His Late Wife- Fiction! Summary of the eRumor A message said to have come from George Carlin on the occasion of his wife's death and his commentary on the nation after the Attack on America on September 11, 2001. It has also circulated as having been written by a surviving student of the Columbine high school massacre in Colorado The Truth This has been circulating on the Internet for quite a while...long before September 11, and is not from George Carlin. Those who know George Carlin's views would immediately know that the comments in "The Paradox of Our Time" do not match those of Carlin. On his website at www.georgecarlin.com he denies authorship and criticizes the piece. The rumor that these words were spoken on the occasion of the death of his wife are a recent addition to the eRumor, which began circulating about 1999.

37. CANOE -- JAM! Television: The Tao Of George Carlin EDMONTON Trying to pry the answers to life s questions from george carlin is like taking a long trip to seek wisdom from a yogic guru in a remote http://jam.canoe.ca/Television/2008/01/15/4773735.html

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38. George Carlin | The A.V. Club Rooted in the ’60s counterculture, george carlin’s unsparing stand-up act has proven remarkably enduring across the decades. Shortly before the première of http://www.avclub.com/content/node/42195

afns_url64 = "L2NvbnRlbnQvbm9kZS80MjE5NQ=="; afns_ad_redirect = ""; afns_base_url = "http://www.avclub.com/content/"; @import "/content/themes/avclub/style/comments.css"; @import "/content/themes/avclub/page/elements/related.css"; @import "/content/misc/drupal.css"; @import "/content/themes/avclub/page/elements/global.css"; @import "/content/themes/avclub/page/elements/article.css"; @import "/content/themes/avclub/style/navbar.css"; OAS_AD('Top'); Interviews George Carlin Email email To: From: Print Discuss digg_url = 'http://www.avclub.com/content/node/42195'; digg_bgcolor = '#ffffff'; Interviewed by Noel Murray November 2nd, 2005 When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? , was released late last year) and stand-up routines (his latest HBO special, Life Is Worth Losing The A.V. Club The A.V. Club: This is your 13th HBO special, and your first one was back in 1977, when the channel was still pretty new. Do you remember how you first got into business with them? George Carlin: No, but I remember that my then-manager Monte Kay, who owned Little David, the record company I was at, said to me that there was this new service and they were going to do specials by comedians, on location, and that he expected that we'd hear from them. Which I guess he did. You know, there was an awful lot of cocaine, and I honestly don't remember a lot of detail about that time. AVC: On your website's career timeline, you describe your first

39. George Carlin’s Baseball Vs. Football A classic from george carlin. Baseball is different from any other sport; very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; http://home.earthlink.net/~sscutchen/baseball/Quotes/baseball_vs_football.htm

Baseball versus Football A classic from George Carlin Baseball is different from any other sport; very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out. Also: In football, basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score withthe ball, and without the ball you can't score. In baseball, the ball prevents you from scoring. In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager; and only in baseball does the manager (or coach) wear the same clothing as the players do. If you had ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders football uniform, you would know the reason for this custom. Now I've mentioned football. Baseball and football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And, as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values. And maybe how those values have changed over the last 150 years. For those reasons I enjoy comparing baseball and football: Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.

40. George Carlin - Dating, Gossip, News, Photos george carlin profile. george carlin biography. george carlin facts. george carlin news and gossip. Find out more about http://www.whosdatedwho.com/celebrities/people/dating/george-carlin.htm

var currentUser = new User('0'); logger.level = LoggerLevels.FATAL; Who's Dating Who? Who's Wearing What? Celebrity News Community ... Community (new!) George Carlin Who's Dated Who feature on George Carlin including relationships, couples, pictures, biography, photos, pics, news, vital stats, commentary, forum, fans and facts. George Carlin News George Carlin Pictures (members only) George Carlin Community (members only) George Carlin Taurus George Carlin Relationships Who is George Carlin dating? Click on the photos to find out Who's Dated Who... Brenda Carlin Profile Married Relationship On-Screen Romance "Encounter" Post Your Vote Vote for George's Top Romance Please select Brenda Carlin Vote Results George Carlin Biography Please add a short biography for George Carlin. Comments Be the first person to add a comment! Submit a Comment Top News Stories Latest News Top Stories Johnny Depp Gives $2 Million to Hospital That Treated His Da... by Queenoftab Zac Efron Has Appendix Removed... by Queenoftab Matthew McConaughey`s Girlfriend Is Pregnant... by Queenoftab Vanessa Hudgens Set for Misfit Role...

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