81. McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Expert Help For Your Fantasy Baseball Franchise When todd hollandsworth was with the LA Dodgers he was playing left field and was getting razzed all EXPERT HELP FOR YOUR FANTASY baseball FRANCHISE http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/fantasybball/7heckles2.html

E X P E R T H E L P F O R Y O U R F A N T A S Y B A S E B A L L F R A N C H I S E BY RICK PAULAS TALES OF THE HECKLE, PART II In the great history of Jeepers Creepers 2 Cocoon: The Return Teen Wolf 2 , and The Decalogue: Two , I present to you, the Internet reader, the second part of actual heckles sent in through electronic mail by other readers like you, except much more creative and boundlessly more attractive. This is, once again, a device used to give myself a little break from the hassle of deadlines ("the deadline breaks, then so do your fucking legs" is one of John Warner's favorite sayings; surprisingly, it never loses its impact) and the daily grind of answering phone tips regarding Jose Lima's wife and Zack Greinke's developing knuckleball. It may seem to be all fun and games on the other side of the pixilated screen, but for myself, it's a bane. And quite addicting. It will also give me some time to complete my move from Chicago to Los Angeles, the land of sublime and silicon. Perhaps you'll even see me. Maybe I'll be on the TV, in the background of one of those entourage Oscar-acceptance speeches. Or possibly I'll be manning the fry vat, salting your potato skins to complete your #4 meal deal. Or perhaps, years from now, you'll step over me on the street while I lay face-down in my own vomit, a mix of alcohol and shattered dreams. Either way, it'll be interesting. As always, thanks to everyone for writing in.

82. Sports | Baseball | Canada.com baseball back to main hockey football basketball baseball soccer LF, hollandsworth, todd, 0, 0 .000, 1B, Tracy, Chad, 0, 0 .000 http://sports.canada.com/default.asp?c=canada&page=mlb/scores/live/lineup145781.

83. Sports | Baseball | Canada.com todd hollandsworth doubled to left. Runner on second with none out and Michael Sergio Mitre doubled to left scoring todd hollandsworth with one out. http://sports.canada.com/default.asp?c=canada&page=mlb/scores/final/P147463.htm

84. Todd Hollandsworth Name hollandsworth, todd Team Chicago Cubs RotoWire RotoWorld ESPN player page TSN Ultimate, TSN Basic, Schedule, Swirve baseball, PSC http://rotoguru1.com/cgi-bin/player.cgi?guru_id=7124

85. Detroit News Scoreboards Major League baseball Runners on first and second and todd hollandsworth due up. todd hollandsworth struck out swinging to end the inning. http://146.145.120.3/default.asp?c=detnews&page=mlb/scores/live/P145781.htm

86. Dan Patrick:Outtakes: Todd Helton (uncut) DP Best todd in baseball. TH Wow, that s a hard one. DP That s just total BS you don t think todd hollandsworth is better than you. http://espn.go.com/talent/danpatrick/s/2001/0725/1230839.html

ESPN.com E-mail Dan Radio affiliates ESPNRadio.com ... Photos December 06, 2001 Outtakes: Todd Helton (uncut) A condensed version of Dan Patrick's interview with Colorado Rockies first baseman Todd Helton appears in the August 6 edition of ESPN The Magazine. Todd Helton flirted with .400 for much of last season, finishing at .372. DP: Are you ready for this? TH: Yes. DP: Are you sure? TH: Yes. I've got Papa John's pizza sitting right here, dude. DP: OK. TH: Let's do this. Just don't jinx me again. DP: Jinx you? You had one of the greatest seasons in the last 30 years : 200 hits, 40 homers, 100 RBI, 100 runs, 100 extra base hits, 100 walks [editor's note: make that 64 years; the last player to come close was Hank Greenberg in 1937]. TH: I just like to hear you say it, buddy. DP: Of all those numbers, what are you the proudest of? TH: Oh, I don't know probably my average. DP: See, I didn't even mention that. TH: Yes, that's probably because it's so hard just to grind day in and day out. DP: What about the 59 doubles? TH: I kind of wish I'd have had 60. You get that close, 59, come on.

87. Todd Hollandsworth Ai Marlins [Baseball.it] baseball.it, il sito sul baseball italiano registrato presso il http://www.baseball.it/archivio/articoli/articolo8057.asp?id=8057

88. Cubs Win In Wood's Return To Mound - Baseball - MSNBC.com and todd hollandsworth hit a runscoring single in the ninth inning for a hollandsworth’s second-inning single put Chicago ahead, but Hall’s homer http://msnbc.msn.com/id/8408839/

Skip navigation Sports Scores, schedules NFL ... Most Popular NBC NEWS MSNBC TV Today Show Nightly News Meet the Press ... MATCHUPS Cubs win in Wood's return to mound But righty gets no-decision as Chicago forced to rally in 9th Jeff Roberson / AP Chicago Cubs starting pitcher Kerry Wood throws during the first inning against the Milwaukee Brewers on Wednesday. It was Wood's first start since going on the disabled list on May 3. CHICAGO - Kerry Wood returned, and the Chicago Cubs won again. Wood threw six sharp innings in his first start in two months, and Todd Hollandsworth hit a run-scoring single in the ninth inning for a 3-2 victory over the Milwaukee Brewers on Wednesday that extended Chicago's winning streak to four. Wood, who had not pitched since April 30 because of a strained right shoulder, allowed one run and two hits in six innings. He struck out nine, walked two and left after 91 pitches with a 2-1 lead. "I wasn't trying to do too much," said Wood, whose velocity reached 97 mph. "I was putting my fastball pretty much where I wanted to. My slider was good early, and I dropped in a couple of good curveballs." Chicago, which began the day 8½ games behind first-place St. Louis in the NL Central, got its top two starters back within a span of four days. Mark Prior started Sunday's 2-0 win over the White Sox, his first appearance since a line drive broke a bone in his right elbow on May 27.

89. National League – Major League Baseball - Milwaukee Vs. Colorado todd hollandsworth went 3for-4 with a home run and three RBI and Gary Bennett had a three-run triple as the Colorado Rockies defeated the Milwaukee Brewers http://www.usatoday.com/sports/scores102/102200/20020719NL---COLORADO--0nr.htm

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90. National League – Major League Baseball - Milwaukee Vs. Colorado After todd Zeile singled to put runners on the corners, hollandsworth hammered Cabrera s next pitch over the wall in rightcenter. http://www.usatoday.com/sports/scores102/102201/20020720NL---COLORADO--0nr.htm

HTTP/1.1 404 Object Not Found Server: Microsoft-IIS/5.0 Date: Thu, 15 Sep 2005 19:40:00 GMT P3P: CP="CAO CUR ADM DEVa TAIi PSAa PSDa CONi OUR OTRi IND PHY ONL UNI COM NAV DEM" X-Powered-By: ASP.NET Connection: close Content-Type: text/html Set-Cookie: v1us=4329CE11E1A29570; path=/; expires=Wed, 19 Feb 2020 14:28:00 GMT; domain=.usatoday.com 404 Object Not Found 07/21/2002 - 12:58 AM - Click reload often for latest version Milwaukee vs. Colorado How They Scored Game Story Jul 20, 2002 How They Scored ... Go to Sports Index Related advertising links What's this? adsonar_pid=3157;adsonar_ps=3690;adsonar_zw=500;adsonar_zh=220;adsonar_jv='ads.adsonar.com'; Place your ad here Front Page News Money ... About us

91. Fantasy Baseball: Player News Archive field platoon setup where todd hollandsworth would start against righties, not in the lineup Monday night, with todd hollandsworth starting instead. http://games.espn.go.com/cgi/flb/playernewsarchive?statsId=7100

92. Fantasy Baseball: Player News Archive Feb 23, News, Manager Dusty Baker said todd hollandsworth has the edge on Hairston Jr. to be the Opening Day left fielder, the Chicago SunTimes reports. http://games.espn.go.com/cgi/flb/playernewsarchive?statsId=6127

93. Major League Baseball Transactions Texas Rangers Transactions 8/20/02, todd hollandsworth Activated OF todd hollandsworth off the 15day DL. 8/19/02, CJ Nitkowski Purchased the contract of LHP CJ Nitkowski from http://mlb.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/mlb/transactions/index.jsp?c_id=tex&year=2002

94. Baseball Salaries, List NEW YORK (AP) The 2004 salaries for the 827 major league baseball players on todd hollandsworth 1000000 Ramon Martinez 900000 Paul Bako 865000 http://www.canoe.ca/BaseballMoneyMatters/salaries_players.html

Inside CANOE.CA SLAM! Sports Jam! Showbiz CANOE Travel CNEWS CANOE Money C-Health LIFEWISE AUTONET flirt.canoe.ca Newsstand SunTV WHAM! Gaming AllPop Free E-Mail shop.canoe.ca Jobboom CareerConnection Classified Extra Obituaries Today Restaurants Hotels Weather Horoscopes Lotteries Ecards Crossword Scoreboard News Ticker Sports Ticker TV Listings Movie Listings CLIVE Concerts Mutual Funds Stocks Feedback Index Tue, Apr 13, 2004 SEARCH SLAM NEWS SCOREBOARD PLAYER BIOS MOVEMENTS ... COLUMNISTS ALL-STAR GAME Starting Lineups AL Voting NL Voting Player Stats Rosters/Facts Results MVP's Batting Pitching Records HR Derby Umpires MLB DRAFT Profiles Draft Order Top picks Preview Watch List Round 1 Round 2 Round 3 Round 4 Round 5 Round 6 Round 7 Round 8 Round 9 Round 10 Round 11 Round 12 Round 13 Round 14 Round 15 Round 16 Round 17 Round 18 Round 19 Round 20 Round 21 Round 22 Round 23 Round 24 Round 25 Round 26 Round 27 Round 28 Round 29 Round 30 Round 31 Round 32 Round 33 Round 34 Round 35 Round 36 Round 37 Round 38 Round 39 Round 40 Round 41 Round 42 Round 43 Round 44 Round 45 Round 46 Round 47 Round 48 Round 49 Round 50 Baseball Index Stats MLB AL NL Standings AL NL Wild Card Grapefruit Cactus Schedules Spring AL NL Team-by-team Power Polls AL NL Teams Index Rosters Baseball Extra Attendance Money Matters Offseason Moves FA Signings Trades Prob. Pitchers

95. About Baseball | The Majors, Minors, And Fantasy Baseball In One Stop baseball Colorado Rockies. Division National League West Home Ballpark Coors Field (Denver, CO) 27 todd hollandsworth L/L 62 207 04/20/73 http://baseball.about.com/library/blcolteampage.htm

zJs=10 zJs=11 zJs=12 zJs=13 zc(5,'jsc',zJs,9999999,'') About Sports Baseball Sports ... Help zau(256,140,140,'el','http://z.about.com/0/ip/417/C.htm','');w(xb+xb+' ');zau(256,140,140,'von','http://z.about.com/0/ip/496/7.htm','');w(xb+xb); FREE Newsletter Sign Up Now for the Baseball newsletter! See Online Courses Search Baseball From Brad Marchand Your Guide to Baseball FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now! Baseball Darwinism Charles Darwin's theory that the strongest species will find a way to outlast the weaker ones can easily be applied to Major League Baseball as well. Especially this time of year. The strongest teams go on a winning streak, the best players get hot , and issues like injuries and playing time work themselves out for the good teams and bury the bad ones. The strong are outlasting the weak. At the same time, intangible elements about the baseball season begin to take their toll. Pitchers who have spent the whole season giving up gopher balls in hitter-friendly parks wear down and either get hurt or burn out mentally; batters get weary of trying to pump home runs out of SBC Park or Petco Park and go into slumps. Yes, even the ballparks themselves play a role in determining which teams are the fittest to survive.

96. BASEBALL NOTE 200405 Major League baseball free agent signings of Florida minor league todd hollandsworth, of Chicago (NL) 1 year, $900000 Cory Lidle, http://slam.canoe.ca/StatsBBM/BC-BBM-LGNS-AGENTSIGN-R.html

Inside CANOE.CA SLAM! Sports Jam! Showbiz CANOE Travel CNEWS CANOE Money C-Health LIFEWISE AUTONET flirt.canoe.ca Newsstand SunTV WHAM! Gaming AllPop Free E-Mail shop.canoe.ca Jobboom CareerConnection Classified Extra Obituaries Today Restaurants Hotels Weather Horoscopes Lotteries Ecards Crossword Scoreboard News Ticker Sports Ticker TV Listings Movie Listings CLIVE Concerts Mutual Funds Stocks Feedback Index SEARCH SLAM NEWS SCOREBOARD PLAYER BIOS MOVEMENTS ... COLUMNISTS ALL-STAR GAME Starting Lineups AL Voting NL Voting Player Stats Rosters/Facts Results MVP's Batting Pitching Records HR Derby Umpires MLB DRAFT Profiles Draft Order Top picks Preview Watch List Round 1 Round 2 Round 3 Round 4 Round 5 Round 6 Round 7 Round 8 Round 9 Round 10 Round 11 Round 12 Round 13 Round 14 Round 15 Round 16 Round 17 Round 18 Round 19 Round 20 Round 21 Round 22 Round 23 Round 24 Round 25 Round 26 Round 27 Round 28 Round 29 Round 30 Round 31 Round 32 Round 33 Round 34 Round 35 Round 36 Round 37 Round 38 Round 39 Round 40 Round 41 Round 42 Round 43 Round 44 Round 45 Round 46 Round 47 Round 48 Round 49 Round 50 Baseball Index Stats MLB AL NL Standings AL NL Wild Card Grapefruit Cactus Schedules Spring AL NL Team-by-team Power Polls AL NL Teams Index Rosters Baseball Extra Attendance Money Matters Offseason Moves FA Signings Trades Prob. Pitchers

97. Strikethree.com Baseball News, Analysis, And Commentary Strikethree.com is baseball news, analysis, commentary and humor. Offensively, Larry Walker, todd Helton, todd hollandsworth and todd Zeile (what’s with http://www.strikethree.com/02/02/27/dave.shtml

Departments Front Page News Headlines Features Feature Archive ... Scores from Yahoo Shopping Baseball Books Baseball Video Baseball Music Baseball Games ... Strikethree Gear About this site About Us Contact Us Tip Jar RSS Feed Recent wisdom, gossip and conjecture: Name That Substance Counter/Point: Suspended Scrub Baseballhead: The Sheffield Rule NL West Predix: Dodger That ... Al Central Predix: Stealin’ the Lunch Money From the Strikethree.com newsroom: Unfortunate Garciaparra groin-related quotes ?r? us Ramifications of fan barely touching Sheffield continue Can you write or draw? Would you rather put bamboo shoots up your fingernails than read the average sportswriter? You might have a future! Let us be your stepping stone Hot Stove: Blessed In the West Dave Paisley Given all that, I then calculated a winning percentage using the time-honored Pythagorean method. I also figured out how much above or below average the offense and defense were, with a combined total. You can see the results in the tables below. Team OPS ERA RS RA W% W Off Pit/Def Total SF AZ COL SD LA Next we have our returning World Series champs. They really look stocked on the pitching front, with Rick "just glad to be out of Texas" Helling, Brian Anderson, Miguel Batista and Armando Reynoso providing more than adequate backup. I haven’t mentioned bullpens much here because I don’t think they really have that much influence, but getting Matt Mantei back to go with a maturing Byung Hyun Kim could give the Snakes an amazing pitching staff.

98. CDM Fantasy Sports Is The Worldwide Leader In Fantasy Sports Games in a wide variety of sports including baseball, football, basketball and hockey. July 31, todd hollandsworth figures to lose a significant amount of http://news.cdmsports.com/index.php?sport=bsball&type=profile&name=390

99. Indiana Baseball Hall Of Fame Phil Wendell todd Wellmeyer, Cubs, signed baseball. Gary Meyer- Alex Graman, Troy Stuart- Dusty Baker, Mark Prior, todd hollandsworth signed ball http://www.indbaseballhalloffame.org/golfclassic.html

Home All Stars Inductees Inductee Search ... Most Valuable Indiana Baseball Hall of Fame Celebrity Golf Classic 2005 GOLF CLASSIC FRIDAY, OCTOBER 7TH, 2005 SHOT GUN START AT 9:00 AM 2004 RESULTS OF INDIANA BASEBALL HALL OF FAME CELEBRITY GOLF CLASSIC 1st Place Team Brian Dorsett-celebrity-former catcher Cleveland, Chicago Cubs, Reds; Kevin Reed, Lee Shipley, Ray Sumner, Jr., Dennie McGuire, L.R. Dorsett 2nd Place Team Brad Wilkerson-celebrity-current outfielder/first baseman Montreal Expos; Mark Leach, Todd Lillpop, Kevin Roark, Shane Shepherd, Mike Wilkerson 3rd Place Team Rich Miller-celebrity-sportscaster WFIE-TV Evansville; Jerry Brewer, Jon Eckert, Don Hayes, Mike Hubers, Shad Huffer 4th Place Team Jerry Jones-celebrity-former ass't. basketball coach at U. of Louisville; Vince Cook, Jay Nelson, Kent Reyling, Pete Sermersheim, Reggie Staples 5th Place Team Boots Day-celebrity- coach Wilmington in Kansas City Royals organization; Kerry Eckerle, Jennifer Hilgefort, Paul Kinker, Jim Skillman, Steve Smith 6th Place Team Joe Cowley-celebrity-former pitcher White Sox and Yankees;Jay Cox, Andy Giesler, John Roos, Chris Vogler, Adam Mitchell

100. Chicago Cubs Player Information todd hollandsworth 28 RF, Current Status Active. Full Name todd Mathew hollandsworth. Born 04/20/1973. Birthplace Dayton, OH. Height 6 2 Weight 215 http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/team/player.jsp?player_id=116075

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